Back to School Stress

This week, parents throughout the country ushered their children back to school. Many parents were giddy while they packed lunches, bagged back to school supplies, and packed lunches. After a year, and a summer, filled with too much together time, these parents were relieved to watch their children step out of their houses and into school buildings. They are celebrating the friendships nurtured within the walls of school buildings, the student-teacher relationships being formed, and the academic progress their children will make. These parents happily kiss their children goodbye each morning, and cheerfully greet them at the end of the day. The schoolyear is, for them, a reprieve from the grind of parenting, and a time for their children to grow and learn. For me, the schoolyear ushers in a grueling schedule, afterschool meltdowns, and a year filled with sickness and stress.

I am not, and never have been a morning person. There is nothing pleasurable about rising before the sun. Getting up early is, however, a necessity during the schoolyear. Most evenings, I sleep, at most, in 3-hour increments due to Lily’s diabetes. Once awake, it can take me anywhere from 15 minutes to 2 hours to go back to sleep. Even with an early bedtime, an early morning does not allow me enough time to get the necessary sleep to feel refreshed and revived. Getting up at 6:30 am, 5 days a week, for 9.5 months, is exhausting not only for me, but also for my children, resulting in meltdowns and sickness. 

Meltdowns are a regular part of the schoolyear for my children. Not only are they exhausted from rising early each day, but also from “keeping it together” throughout the day. The addition of homework does not help their stress level, or mine. Completing homework is difficult on a good day, impossible on a bad day. Tears have been shed, math sheets have been torn in rage, and reading logs have been turned in partially completed just to save what little sanity the schoolyear leaves us.

Many parents are unbothered by their children getting sick. Fevers, vomit, and snot are just consequences of having children. Sickness stresses me the fuck out, and schools are cesspools. We have had years where my children have been sick more than they have been healthy. I have visited the doctor every week or two for months on end, and I am not a parent who takes my children to the doctor for every cough or sneeze. My stress is compounded by having a child with diabetes. Even the simplest cold can mess with her sugar and cause more severe problems. Living in the time of COVID is only exacerbating my anxiety.

For the past two years I have homeschooled both my children. We have had the ability to wake up late, form a work schedule that works for us that does not include homework, and avoid much of the sickness acquired at school. Though we made an effort to socialize our children by involving them in extracurricular activities, my youngest wanted to attend school this year to have more social interaction on a daily basis. I was not giddy packing her lunch and checking her backpack this week. I was, however, exhausted and anxious throughout the week. She was excited and cheerful. I can only hope that we have a year filled with health, happiness, and academic and personal growth. One that I can call successful, rather than stressful.