Bubbling Over

             I feel like, for the past two days, I have done nothing but harp on, yell at, and discipline my children. Last night while I was trying to relax, Lily squirmed, she got into things she wasn’t supposed to get into, and her talking never ceased. Today, I dealt with one meltdown after another between her and Lu. First Lily didn’t want to go for a walk while waiting the hour to pick up Lucy. Then, while in Wal-Mart, she through a conniption over purchasing a certain scarecrow. In the car, on the way home from Lucy’s school, the girls started arguing over what to name said scarecrow. Lily successfully instigated Lucy into a full-blown tantrum over Lucy’s inability to get a word in edgewise. At home Lily lay on the floor screaming because I gave Lu a box to use for her fairy house (Lily was given a box yesterday). Lucy then began crying over her eyes playing tricks on her. The two got in a screaming match over who was going to feed the animals. It has been one fight and one tantrum after another.

            I usually consider myself a fairly patient mother. I am fairly adept at ignoring tantrums and doling out consequences for inappropriate behavior. However, the last two days, I have felt myself losing my shit and praying for peace. I have practically begged my girls to sit in front of their iPads. Sensing my impatience, they haven’t been obliged to comply. Instead they have continued to push my buttons by making messes, chattering endlessly, and failing to listen and follow directions.

            As I sit here writing, Lily yells, “Mom, Lucy is looking at me.” My husband once made a statement that at the moment is ringing true. He declared, “I am convinced that our children were put on this earth to bring joy to others because they sure as hell aren’t here to bring us joy.” I am trying hard to find some joy, but the tantrums, fights, and lack of listening is overshadowing any good that may exist. I am taking a deep breath, counting to three…and screaming internally.