I grew up in a fairly religious household. We attended church each Sunday, went on mission trips and church retreats, participated in youth group, and read the bible before bed each evening. Growing up, my favorite New Testament story was “The Woman by the Well”. In this story, Jesus is resting by the well of Jacob when a Samaritan woman approaches. Jesus asks this woman to retrieve him a drink of water. Surprised that both a man and a Jew is speaking to her, she questions Jesus’s motives. Jesus replies by saying, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again. But whoever, drinks the water I give him will never be thirsty again.” He then requests that she retrieve her husband. The woman answers honestly by saying that she has no husband. Jesus exclaims, “You are right in saying you have no husband. The fact is you have had five and the man you are living with now is not your husband.” Jesus then reveals himself as the messiah the woman knows is coming. At this point Jesus’s disciples return and the woman returns to the village, declaring the presence of the messiah, Jesus.
I would make my mother read this story to me over and over again. Not only did it capture my attention, but also my heart. At the time it fascinated me, though I was always unsure as to why. It wasn’t until last night, while lying awake at 1am, that it struck me. “The Woman by the Well” may seem to be just a story about accepting God as Lord and savior, but at its core is actually a love story. Not a love story in the traditional romantic sense, but a love story, regardless. Jesus takes it upon himself to not only acknowledge a Samaritan and a woman, but also engages her in meaningful conversation. He accepts the truth of her situation without judgement or disdain. In doing so, Jesus is saying, “Love and you shall be loved!”
As a child, it was easy to love, easier to accept love in return. However, as an adult it is often difficult to love others, and even harder to accept that I am loved despite my flaws. I was never a child free of fear. However, I did fear less. I remember how light and unburdened by responsibilities I once was. I remember my first love and the ease with which I was able to love and accept love in return. I remember the pure simplistic joy that love produced. Alas, time, age, and circumstances have resulted in a harder, more fearful, and burdened me. As a result, relationships, and the love that exists within those relationships, have become much more complex. Life has given me a version of myself that is both familiar and foreign, making accepting love challenging at the best of times and unthinkable at the worst of times.
I imagine that the Samaritan woman felt the same. Her life was, I am certain, not as she imagined. Five failed marriages must have taken a toll on her self-esteem. Life must have disappointed her. She may have even been disappointed in herself. Jesus offered her the uncomplicated, innocent, faith-filled love that one experiences as a child. He asked her to cast off her burdens to once again discover her lighter, less fearful, and hardened version of herself. Despite her circumstances, Jesus was declaring that she was worthy not only of loving, but of being loved.
Each day I struggle to accept this version of myself; one so completely different, not only from the wide-eyed child I used to be, but also from the adult I dreamed I would become. I don’t always feel worthy of love. Accepting and loving others for their flaws can also prove difficult at times. They say with age comes wisdom. Each day is a quest to learn, to grow, and to love and be loved.
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