Laughing While Crying

           Having a sense of humor has always been extremely important in my family. One cannot survive my family unless they have the ability to laugh at dirty jokes, bodily functions, and the horrors and quirks of life and death. At some point as a teen, I realized that not all families operated in the same manner that my family did. Therefore, I took to warning new friends about my family before their first meeting. More often than not I found myself saying, “I just want to let you know that sex and bodily functions are dinnertime conversation in my house, so don’t be shocked and horrified when the two topics come up; which they surely will.”

My friends almost always laughed off my warning; not really believing my family could be so uncouth. It wasn’t until dinner was in full swing and the topic of condoms, or STD’s, farts, or bowel movements made their way into the conversation that I would glance over at my friends who were sitting wide-eyed in shock. Despite their initial shock, it never took my friends long to feel comfortable joining in our dinnertime conversations, laughing along with my family. Many of my friends found my house very freeing, using my family to discuss those topics that were forbidden in their own houses.

One particular friend came over to discuss her menstrual cycle and all the “joys” that it brought her. She never ceased to inform us of when Aunt Flow and Uncle Red were visiting her. Laughing about it was our only reprieve.  Another friend and I suffered through our mothers’ hilarious laughter regarding boobs and pubes.  Laughter transformed the pain of puberty into a ridiculous faze; one to be laughed about rather than be ashamed about. 

Growing up, I would often ask my mother what first attracted her to my father. Her reply never changed. “He made me laugh,” she would say. It was laughter that first attracted me to my husband. A hilarious human being, he has always had the ability to make a dark situation light. Without his sense of humor the pain of infertility would have been unbearable. The post-partum depression and anxiety I have suffered could have ended in a painful separation. But through all the difficulties that come with a fourteen-year marriage he has made me laugh, reminding me of its importance.

Most importantly, however, has been our ability as a family to laugh collectively, not only at ourselves, but also at the awkward, the difficult, and the ridiculous. Laughter has bonded our family in indescribable ways. Ways that only those who know the power of laughter can understand.