I am a hopeless sap. I sob
uncontrollably during movies (even during Disney movies), TV shows, You Tube
videos and while reading books and listening to music. My inability to control
my emotions amuses both my eldest daughter, Lucy, and my husband. Lucy often
stares at me bemused and exclaims, “You’re going to cry, aren’t you, Mom?”
While browsing Facebook one day
this week, I ran across a video of a cancer survivor meeting his bone marrow
donor for the first time. As the two strangers clung to each other weeping, I
sat fixated, tears streaming down my face. After blowing my nose and wiping my
eyes, I began to reflect on my inability to keep it together when faced with
heartwarming or heartbreaking stories.
I can’t say that before the birth
of Lucy I avoided emotional outbursts, I have always been touched by stories
regarding the human condition. However, it wasn’t until the birth of Lucy that
every love story, success story, or heartbreak affected me so severely. Hormonal changes, combined with the
overwhelming responsibility for another’s physical, emotional, and mental well
being have taken their toll on my own emotional and mental well being.
Watching or reading about
individuals who have overcome unbelievable odds, individuals who freely offer
up their bodies, souls, and lives to others, often complete strangers, has made
me realize how exceptional, brave, and loving human beings can be, and how
unexceptional, cowardly, and cold I truly am. My tears, therefore, are born out
of disappointment and anger at myself for my inability to overcome fears,
insecurities, and heartbreak. Heartbreak that is far less dramatic than what
some individuals have experienced and conquered.
My tears, therefore, will continue
to flow as long as human beings continue to exhibit exceptional love, bravery,
and resilience. My tears will continue to flow until the war that rages inside
my rebellious brain decides upon peace. And the next time Lucy asks me if I am
going to cry I will respond with a smile, a sniffle, and a tissue to the nose.
No comments:
Post a Comment