The sun is shining in the Northeast Kingdom of Vermont,
which means the park is beckoning not only to my children but also to a large
majority of the children in the area. Park days are full of sunshine, sunscreen,
dirt coated children and moms, a lot of moms. Moms who love nothing more than
planning play dates, enabling them to spend the day chatting with each other
while their children run wild with little supervision. I am not one of these mothers.
The past week
has been full of spontaneous park visits due to a string of pleasant days. It
was during one of these spontaneous trips to the park with Lily-Anne that I ran
across one such group of mothers. As I followed Lily from one contraption to
another, I watched this group of mothers sit chatting with each other, their
children either abusing the playground equipment and the other smaller children
in the area by barreling along carelessly or disappearing from sight
completely. My disdain took flight, and I was reminded of why I am, by choice,
somewhat of a loner, or at least socially selective.
When I
express my frustration at these situations to my husband he always repeats the
same line, “Honey, you do not play well with others.” Humorous, yet true. I was
never one to like partner or group work when in school. As a teacher, I
despised assigning group work despite my administration’s insistence on doing
so. I have never been one to “be a part of the crowd.” I never had an overwhelming desire
to join a sorority, be a team player (despite playing basketball), or jump on one of the numerous
bandwagons the public so enthusiastically embraces. I have never wanted to be
part of the moms club.
I blame my apathy on a variety of
personality quirks. I am somewhat of a control freak. I like things done in a
certain way in a certain amount of time. I have very little patience for
bullshit. I have very little patience for drama. As I once told my husband, "I
have enough drama of my own, I do not need other people’s drama on top of it.”
I like intellectual, grounded, and honest individuals, which excludes a whole
host of mothers who want to do nothing more than rave about the joys, and
ignore the stresses, of motherhood and marriage.
Fitting in is simply not a part of my nature. Rather I choose to surround
myself with a small group of individuals, individuals who are real and honest. Individuals
who do not ask me to apologize for who I am, or rather, who I am not.
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